Audra Nuru, professor of communication and family studies at the University of St. Thomas College of Arts and Sciences, recently provided Vogue with tips on engaging with differing views, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering meaningful connections, even in politically charged family gatherings.
From the story:
Thanksgiving is almost upon us, and given that we’re fresh off one of the most contentious and politically divisive election seasons of our time, it’s probably not realistic to expect a holiday totally free of drama. If you’re one of the lucky few whose family is united around political issues, treasure those peaceful conversations at the Thanksgiving table; for the rest of us, it can be challenging to know how best to talk to loved ones (or, to be real, tolerated-out-of-necessity ones) about anything substantive. Besides, for many of us, these issues aren’t “just politics”; they directly affect the way we live our lives and the safety and happiness of our families and friends.
While tapping out of such conversations doesn’t feel like a responsible or realistic option in 2024, it feels equally dismal to simply accept a tense or outright hostile environment during what should be a joyful and grateful time of year. So, for some expert guidance on this issue, Vogue spoke to Dr. Audra Nuru, a professor of communication and family studies at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota, about how to engage loved ones with differing views in a productive way (and, just as importantly, how to set boundaries when it feels like engagement is no longer good for you and your mental health). Find her thoughts – and some sample scripts she’s provided for different conversations – below.
Vogue: How do you recommend preparing for an event or gathering that might include viewpoints you disagree with or find harmful?
Dr. Audra Nuru: It’s true that those kinds of encounters can benefit from a bit of preparation. I like to think of it like packing for a trip to a new and unfamiliar place – you want to be prepared for the expected, but also pack with an open mind for the unexpected. So, before heading into that event, take some time to reflect on what topics might feel a bit sensitive for you, almost like checking the weather forecast so you can pack accordingly. Remember, everyone is coming to the table with their own unique experiences and perspectives. Embrace those differences with curiosity and kindness. And of course, it’s always wise to set healthy boundaries – that’s like having a good map and a reliable guide to help you navigate any unfamiliar territory.
